Naruto Sleepover: Where the Impossible is Possible
by Believing in tomorrow
Summary: Slightly being re-written. Chaos & hilarity ensue when two kunoichi host a slumber party & invite the Naruto gang, Orochimaru & Kabuto, plus the infamous Akatsuki over their house in the absence of their mother. Sachiko seems to have a covert plan though…
1. Prologue

**To those of you who have already read every old chapter to this**

I am deleting and reposting slightly rewritten chapters because they were kinda crappy at first…in the honest judgment of my improved writing skills. I will update a new chapter of the revised chapters everyday but post these first two up now. Feel free to reread it if you see fit, its grammar and story content is _way _better. The main reason though as to why I hadn't update which I don't think everyone who didn't check my profile is because I had lost my notebook which hold every single chapter of this story; I found it about two weeks ago at a friend's house who I had forgotten had wanted to read the whole thing. But I have had it returned.

**To any new readers**

This is my very first fanfic story I wrote randomly when I was in 10th grade…high school…good times…oh getting off topic here but, yeah. I finally came up with a perfect ending for it; last year.

**Must know before READING:** This fic is somewhat AU because technology is present. And it is set during _Naruto Shippuuden_.

**Disclaimer: **Well it's evident by now isn't it? I'm not Masashi Kishimoto therefore I have absolutely no ownership of **Naruto**…are you happy now?

* * *

**Prologue:** Let's Have a Sleepover!

It was a wet and rainy Friday evening for Konoha. Dark black clouds covered the vast firmament like a thick gray quilt as cold rain poured down upon the flora and fauna. Most of the villagers were inside cozying it up, taking it easy due to the harsh elements.

We set our gaze to a large two story house smack dab in the middle of the quiet village. Inside there lives a small family of four — the family usually consists of five people in total, but the father was out on a two-week long mission in the Land of Snow.

Takashita Isae, a mother in her mid-thirties, was sitting squat on the tile floor threshold, finishing up her preparing her luggage to face the unforgiving elements outside. Her short violet hair, cut in a chic style, was pulled back into a short ponytail, dark green eyes focused on her task at hand. Next to her stood a young girl of about three years with reddish brown hair to her lower back in two plaits and sea green colored eyes. She tugged lightly on her mother's pant leg, causing her to look to her right at the small child.

"What is it Akari?"

"Sachiko…Keiko…want to say bye, bye…"

"Just a minute…" After putting together all her baggage and zipping up her and Akari's overcoat jackets so that they would stay dry, she looked up the fourteen flight stairway. "Sachiko, Keiko!"

"Yes?" two female voices called back simultaneously.

"Get down here!"

"Okay!"

Stampeding down, jumping the last couple of steps with effusive emerald eyes and a permanently cheerful look in her countenance was the eldest, Takashita Sachiko, age seventeen. Her vermillion locks that reached just about her thighs were spiraled in a messy braid with a thin pink bow tied at the end, thrown haphazardly over her shoulder.

Coming down last, bumping her older sister in a playfully rough routine as she moved and stood by her side was Takashita Keiko, age sixteen, wearing a neutral face. Like her mother, she had plum colored locks only hers reached her hips, but pale green eyes substituted her mother's dark green ones, which were currently staring at her mother.

"Yes?"

"I'm about to leave, in a few minutes for the Land of Stars* and I'll be gone till Monday."

"Yes mom," said Keiko blandly, looking rather bored now that she knew why they were called upon.

"Akari's coming with me so you will have the house to yourselves."

The two siblings quickly exchanged excited glances at those twelve magical words. "AWESOME!" They hi-five'd each other; who could blame them? In a big house, unsupervised, _and _not having to babysit a younger sibling? It's any teen's heavenly dream come true.

"HEY!" snapped Isae vehemently, not liking their 'We'll be free to do whatever the hell we want' expressions, "this is NOT a cause for celebration! I want you two to do stuff that needs to be done."

Sachiko raised a curious red eyebrow and asked, "Like…?"

"Uh, let me think…" She falsely paused, "Your _chores_!"

"Oh, right," mumbled Sachiko sheepishly, sweat dropping.

"They should be done by tomorrow night and I _will know_ if you try to do it _five seconds_ before I come back home like _last_ time — UNDERSTAND?"

Keiko sighed, "Yes mom."

"And make sure that you clean up your messes when you make one, kay? I left you guys sixty thousand six hundred yen** that is **ONLY**for food and emergencies, okay?"

Sachiko let out an even bigger sigh, lips contorting into a childish pout; she really didn't like when their dear overly motherly mother treated them like little children that needed to be told to do everything, including remembering to wipe themselves after they use the bathroom. Seriously…it was that bad.

"…_Yes_, mom," she echoed off her younger sister.

"Alright then," Isae seemed satisfied for a smile was in place of the previous scowl. "I'll see you Monday morning at ten o'clock; if something happens, call me and—"

"MOOOM!" whined Keiko plaintively, "we _are_ kunoichi you know!"

Isae nodded, bottle-green eyes looking apologetic, recognizing her reoccurring excessive maternal ways. "I know, but I just worry as a parent," she said with a soft sigh.

"We'll be fine," assured Sachiko with a fleeting smile, "you just have a great time with your friends."

"Well I'll still call twice everyday…make sure you answer." Isae walked to the white door leading outside the home and into the harsh weather. "Remember if you need something just call, okay?"

"Okay mom, you should go before you miss your flight," warned Sachiko, exasperation heavily ladled in her lilt. _Seriously, she yells like a nut, but is so overprotective._

"Yeah, ok. Bye; I love you both!"

Isae twisted the silvery door knob and pulled the door ajar, stepping outside in the flowing rain, Akari in one hand, her luggage in the other. The youngest sister looked over her shoulder at her big sisters with those oh-so-adorable ocean colored orbs and smiled innocently bright.

"Bye bye, Sachiko and Keikonee-chan!"

"Bye mom, bye Akari, we'll miss you. Have fun!"

Keiko closed the door and Sachiko predictably exploded into an animated cheer, punching the air enthusiastically. "Yosh! We have the house to ourselves, imouto!"

"Yeah!" agreed Keiko happily, "but we should do our chores first."

Sachiko scoffed, folding her arms, "Fine miss goody-goody."

"I am not!" she retorted indignantly.

"Whatever." Sachiko rolled her eyes and put her hands together, forming an awfully familiar hand sign. "_Kage Bushin no Jutsu_!"

In a column of hazy, gray smoke, three extra clones appeared by the elder's left side. Sachiko turned to her identical copies, giving them a calculating stare. "…Okay, Sachiko number one; clean the upstairs and downstairs bathroom."

"Yes ma'm!"

"Number two; you take care of the living room and kitchen."

"Right!"

"And number three; take out the trash and wash the dishes."

"Ai-ya, sir!"

"And I'll clean my room myself."

"How come you didn't make an extra clone?" asked Keiko, confused. Why do work when you could get someone else to? That was her philosophy.

"Cuz I want to clean my room myself, you lazy Nara Shikamaru wannabe no good bum."

"Whatever," Keiko shrugged and created enough _Kage Bushins_ so she didn't have to do any work whatsoever and proceeded to head for the posh couch in the living room. "Well…I'm gonna take me a dang nap…" Within seconds, she was fast asleep.

The eldest blew a raspberry at her lethargic imouto, but then smiled furtively as she climbed up the stairs, giggling silently to herself all the while.

_Time to make a few phone calls…_

Two hours later, Sachiko came down with a big, satisfied, and unexplained grin on her face. Upon seeing her sister face down on the couch, still slothfully napping, she simply picked up a couch pillow and thwomp-ed her on the back of the head.

Promptly awakened, Keiko flew up with a sharp yelp of, "Wha? What time is it — are the aliens here to poke our brains _again_?"

"No," muttered Sachiko slowly, perplexed by that atypical response. "And it's six thirty."

"Oh. You're done with your chores?"

"Yep and your clones are done too; I took care of them all already."

"Well that's surprisingly good news coming from you…wait a sec, what did you do for two hours, just clean you room?"

"Yep and every other room, with the help of the clones, besides mom's room…cause we're having a _**SLEEPOVER**_!"

"Cool…wait hold the phone — _WE'RE HAVING A_ _**WHAT**_?"

* * *

Asterisk elucidations

*Made that up.

**This is the equivalent to roughly seven hundred US dollars.

**Note**: This chapter has been re-edited as of 5/28/10.


	2. Chapter 1

Second chapter! I'm excited to put this up after working on it for a good two years. Things will soon get out of control…hehehehe.

**READ THE FOLLOWING!**

Let me state this in bold so everyone is explicitly warned**: ALL characters will be and can be **_**OOC**_**, **_**IC**_**, or even somewhat **_**IC,**_** and so on at any time. For example—Sakura and Ino will be somewhat fangirly (for now). There will be a few crack pairings (I'm not saying who) and OC pairing with the two OCs much later on. **

So if you don't like that then I strongly suggest you don't read this. It's a humor fic. It's meant to make you laugh and smile. Or at least try in my case. Thank you.

Disclaimer: **Naruto **doesn't belong to me. Yeppers.

* * *

_Recap:_ "…cause we're having a _**SLEEPOVER**_!" "Cool…wait hold the phone — _WE'RE HAVING A_ _**WHAT**_?"

_**NOW THE STORY BEGINS!**_

**Chapter 1: **They're Coming…They're Here! Well some of them…

"**A SLEEPOVER?** Are you _DUMB_? We can't!" bellowed Keiko angrily. _What the hell was she thinking? Or should I say, not thinking!_

"Why not?"

"Because, I'm pretty sure mom doesn't want a bunch of teenage shinobi hoodlums wrecking the house while she's gone!"

"Don't worry," assured Sachiko coolly, "we'll keep everything clean, I promise."

Keiko calmed down slightly but still looked highly doubtfully.

"…I don't know, Sachiko…it doesn't seem…"

Sachiko almost released a discouraged groan, when a shining light bulb, aka idea, popped in her head; a cunning grin stretched across on her lips.

"…But Keiko, _Rock Lee_ already said he was _coming_."

The younger sister inhaled sharply and whimpered as her big sister utilized her biggest weakness. Keiko had been crushing on him for the past year now. They were good friends and all, but she wanted them to be more than that.

"So have _Naruto, Neji, Kiba, Shikamaru,_ and the other guys, I even _convinced_ the _inconvincible Uchiha Sasuke_ to come!" Sachiko persisted on mischievously. "The girls are too. You don't want to disappoint them _all _do you? Especially," She gives her sister a gloomy, heartrending face, _"Lee-kun!"_

Keiko swallowed thickly but Sachiko could still see defiance in her jade green eyes so she used her trump card.

"And guess what? We're going to play **Seven Minutes in Heaven **and other fun sleepover games…you could get Lee and maybe…" She paused for full effect and drew out her final statement in a soft purr, "_Kiss him~"_

Instinctive drool escaped the opened mouth of Keiko as she fantasized all types of scenarios with the Green Beast of Konoha. All hesitation erased from her mind instantly as she bobbed her head up and down vigorously, uttering with a swift, "Okay, let's do this."

"Yaye!" _Damn…that was easy. _"Thanks imouto."

"Yeah whatever…when are they coming?"

Sachiko glanced at her random wrist watch. "Some should be arriving about—" As if on cue, the doorbell rings and the high pitched sound echoes within the household; her features light up. "—All right!"

She ran to the door and quickly opened it, not wanting to let her precious guest get any wetter than they already were. At the door were the girls of the slumber party: Haruno Sakura, Yamanaka Ino, Hyūga Hinata, Sabaku no Temari, and TenTen, who has no known surname for some reason yet to be touched upon. All the females had knapsacks filled with obvious items such as sleepwear and extra toiletries.

"Yo, what's up Sachiko?" greeted Ino loudly, wearing a wide smile.

"Nothing much yet. Glad you guys could make it."

"Yeah," agreed Sakura smiling as well, "this is gonna be fun." **Inner Sakura:** _Shannaro! I can't wait till Sasuke-kun gets here!_

"Th-thanks for inviting me, S-Sachiko-chan…"

"No problem, you're really cool Hinata," she replied, ushering them all in. _Today's the day I get her and Naruto together for sure! This will be my best attempt yet!_

The Hyūga heiress blushed darkly at the admiring comment and thanked the red head.

TenTen grinned as she said, "I can't wait till everyone else gets here; this is going to be the greatest sleepover ever."

"My brothers will be here soon," declared Temari suddenly.

"Yeah, Garra!" cheered Sachiko joyfully. The two were good friends; how? That, along with everything else, shall be explained in all due course of time in this peculiar tale.

"So what kind of games are we gonna play, Sachiko?" asked Ino inquisitively.

"Oh, seven minutes in heaven, spin the bottle, etcetera…"

"Awesome! That means I can get Sasuke-kun!"

"Whatever, Ino-pig! He's totally mine! I've matured since _Naruto Shippuuden_ and now I can get him!"

"Oh puh-lease, if that was true, then how come when you first encountered him he dissed you?"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY YOU B—"

"Please don't start already," Keiko luckily butted in. "Let's talk about something else, something less instigating."

"How bout we say the guys we like?" suggested Sachiko with a daring smirk, emerald orbs flashing impishly.

"I like Hyūga Neji!" announced TenTen boldly, sighing happily. "He's so strong and handsome!"

'_That was unmistakable from the way you always gaze at him…'_ thought Sachiko dryly. "Temari, what about you?"

The fan wielder lowered her steel blue gray eyes and sighed as if she couldn't believe she was about to say the words that flew past her lips, "To be honest, I sorta like that lazy Nara Shikamaru."

"Hah, I knew it!" said Keiko gloatingly.

Temari blushed lightly, in spite of her proud will stalwartly demanding her not to; however, she wittily countered back with, "Then who do you like, Keiko?"

"…Uh…" Keiko almost faltered but she swallowed and built up her courage even as she felt heat streak across her cheeks. "…Um…I think a lot of the boys are cute, but I have a huge crush on Rock Lee."

All the girls, minus Hinata, Sachiko and Sakura, stifled their clamorous, oncoming laughter, an akin thought flaring in their minds: _The Bushy Browed teen has an admirer?_

"It's not funny!" snapped Keiko defensively, balling her hands into tight fist. "He's really sweet and nice…"

"…You're right Keiko," said Sakura slowly, nodding and remembering his vow to protect her during the Chūnin Exams. "He is sweet."

"What about you Hinata?" inquired TenTen, turning to the lavender eyed girl with curious liquid brown orbs.

The shy girl blushed unbearably deep and fiddled absentmindedly with her pale, delicate fingers, avoiding any eye contact. She took a small inhalation as she forced herself to meet the keen gazes of the other girls.

"W-well, um…I-I l-like…"

"Isn't it obvious," interrupted Sachiko, noticing her discomfort, wanting to help her out. "She likes Uzumaki Naruto."

The heiress flushed at least fifty new shades of reds at that. Sachiko smiled at her and delivered a thumbs up, unaware that her "helping out" did nothing at all — in fact it made it _thrice_ as bad; Hinata was feeling very faint at the moment. Anyway, the most astonished of all was Sakura, who stared blankly at said Hyūga.

"Wow, I never knew…" she muttered, blinking her light green eyes, utterly shocked.

"Okay Sachiko, you're next," said TenTen curtly, looking expectantly at her.

She grinned unabashedly. "All right then; I—"

DING! The shrill ring of the doorbell rippled piercingly throughout the downstairs of the two story house; Sachiko paused in the midst of revealing her current crush.

"—oh, hang on."

Once more, she dashed to the doorway and quickly opened it — the Naruto "good guy" gang has arrived: of course, Uzumaki Naruto, paraded in first, along with Hyūga Neji, Rock Lee, Nara Shikamaru, Inuzuka Kiba, The Sabaku brothers, Hatake Kakashi, Momochi Zabuza, Haku, and Jiraiya crowd in the large household — a morose looking, saturated to the bone in rain, Uchiha Sasuke trailed in last, wiry arms folded across his chest in an irate fashion. Like the girls preceding them, they too were burden with rucksack though theirs were slung over their shoulders or simply held in their hands.

Sachiko grinned at the new advents, welcoming them in graciously with a polite gesture and curt bow.

"Greetings new arrivals! Glad you guys made it too!"

"Of course we did, dattebayo!" said Naruto loudly, grinning as well. "I wouldn't miss this for anything but ramen…hmm…and something else I can't think of at this moment."

"That's great but, Sasuke how come you aren't with…" Sachiko scooted by him and whispered, "_You know who?_"*

The Uchiha glanced at her impassively and muttered in a voice equivalent to his expression, "He got lost half way and I ditched him."

"Oh I see," she said quietly so only he heard her, "now wonder why you're soaked…man whatta idiot, he's lived here before and he still doesn't know the way?"

"Apparently not."

"Hi Lee," greeted Keiko warmly, waving rather reservedly.

The Green Beast of Konoha blushed slightly as he returned a cordial, "Hello Keiko."

Neji looked from his teammate to Keiko, pupil-less blank near white eyes shrewd and he smirked knowledgeably. _I knew it._

"How very troublesome…" muttered Shikamaru while scratching the side of his head absentmindedly. "Why did I come again…?"

"Cus I said _please _really cutely!" said Sachiko, shamelessly cheerfully.

"…"

The pineapple haired teen sighed dully, really wishing he hadn't come now; he could be taking a fitting nap right about now while listening to the steady, soothing beats of rain on his room's window. That sounded like pure _Cloud Nine_ for him…

Temari rapidly concealed a blooming smile at Shikamaru's lethargic attitude despite her deep aversion to his indolent streak. _Cute, but that laziness… _She shook her head.

Sakura and Ino half screamed when the Uchiha stepped fully in the living room, shaking his bluish black chicken butt like head in the fashion of a wet dog to rid himself of his water logged raven hair.

"SASUKE-KUN!"

"Ugh…" Perfunctorily, he rolled his eyes and like Shikamaru wondered why the hell he decided to come. But he lagged over to Naruto and the squealing Sakura to do some long needed "catching up" time.

The large household slowly filled with the additional chatter of the newest guest as everyone made light conversation amongst each other.

Gaara turned to Sachiko, clear blue orbs expressing eagerness.

"Do you have the cookies?"

"Yes I got you cookies best buddy!"

She pulled a bag from seemingly out of thin air and handed it to him. Gaara's eyes lit up even more at the familiar package. "Yummy." He opened it and munched on them to Sachiko's immediate delight.

_It should be illegal to be that kyute._

"So who else is coming?" asked Kakashi, sounding like he really couldn't care less as his nose was stuck in that _Icha Icha Tactics_ novel.

"…You'll see…"

Sachiko suddenly whispered something into Gaara's ear and after a few seconds, he nodded in silent understanding of whatever she'd told him. Keiko looked suspiciously at the exchange but said nothing about it and instead, remarked, "Well we can't really start anything until everyone else is here—there are more people coming, right nee-chan?"

"Yep."

"Right, so I think we should hold off."

"Yeah." TenTen nodded. "I agree."

"Man all you girls have such smexy bodies; you're all perfect for my latest research!" exclaimed Jiraiya leering at them.

"Eew, pervert!" said Sachiko in disgust.

"Keiko," said a smooth voice suddenly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "It's nice to see you agai—"

"Kankuro, you LECH! Get your hands off me!" she snapped heatedly, smacking him with an open palm.

Every girl (his sister included) and certain guys meanly laughed at his painful misfortune. Did I forget to mention that the puppet user has a thing for Keiko? In which Keiko despises? Must have slipped my mind.

Kankuro only smirked at her, the red hand imprint glowing on his abused cheek.

"You're so feisty…I've always liked that about you!"

She shuddered and shook her head in annoyance.

"Blech."

Sachiko sighed at the typical spectacle always subsequent to that unchanged result. _Why did I invite Jiraiya and Kankuro over, there can be soooo perverted._

BRING!

For the third time, the door bell sounded throughout the house filled with the animated talk of the sleepover guests.

"I'll get it Sachiko," offered TenTen, running to the door and answering it; this time, it's none other than a disgruntled Orochimaru and Kabuto, to the weapons mistress great shock. _The hell…?_

"_Told you_ Kabuto!" hissed the pale snake. "This **is** the place!"

"Sorry Orochimaru-sama. I just thought like last time you we came to Konoha that you'd read the map wrong."

"Oh, give me some slack; I'm pushing fifty four years old!"

"Sachiko!" Keiko turned to her sister with wide green eyes, jaw dropped in horrid disbelief. "Why'd ya invite them?"

"Aren't they our enemies and evil jerks as well?" asked Kiba in a flat tone.

"Well," began Zabuza thoughtfully, "I was evil once…and it also depends how you define evil; evil is taking the last cupcake from the platter, or drinking the last can of soda, or using all the hot water in the shower when someone really needs to take one, or—"

"Ok, Zabuza-sama, I think we get it now," muttered Haku pointblank.

"And to answer your question, imouto, well I invited Sasuke, why not them too?" Sachiko stated matter-of-factly with a careless shrug of the shoulders. "It's only fair."

"They're not even _teenagers_!"

Sachiko shrugged yet again, "Neither are Jiraiya, Zabuza, and Kakashi. Like I said, it's only fair."

"Tell that to all the people who suffered by them," mumbled the discontented Keiko, being realistic as always.

The toad sage suddenly caught sight of the most effeminate boy in the room.

"You're such a pretty girl…"

"I'M A BOY!" Zabuza cracked up at the all too familiar mistake. "Shut up Zabuza-sama!"

"Sorry Haku…it's just so funny!"

The pretty boy swore vehemently, "Curse my feminine beauty!"

"Told ya," whispered Naruto to Sakura and Sasuke (who is still surprisingly lingering around them), "I **told **you he looked like a freaking girl under the mask."

"Hmm…" Orochimaru treaded in the threshold of the household and closed the door behind him as he and Kabuto entered. "Nice place you have here, Sachiko."

"Aww thanks!" She loped to him and spontaneously threw her arms around him in a hug, to the incredulity and repulsion of many.

Kabuto blanched on cue at his respected lord's behavior.

"Orochimaru-sama, what the hell are you doing?"

"What? I wanted a hug — I never get any love…" he trailed off timidly, poking his lip out as Sachiko released him. "It's like everyone hates me…"

"Cus they do," muttered Jiraiya very quietly.

"Ugghh…" The medical ninjutsu user rubbed his forehead in exasperation. "Why did we come anyway; they're after us, remember?"

"So. I've never been to a sleepover before so I wanted to come to this one."

Kiba gave the pale, fifty plus year old man mind you, an odd stare. "Weirdo." He laughed at the absurd hilarity in the Sannin's reasoning.

"Hey! He isn't weird, just crazy!"

"HEY Kabuto, I'm not crazy! Just evil!"

"Yeah you are and you took Sasuke away from me — gah, I mean _us_!" The Uchiha rolled his eyes annoyingly at the blonde's constant and somewhat suspicious obsession over him, "I should kill you right damn now!"

Naruto charged at him but stopped abruptly as Sachiko slid straight in between the hebi and kitsune, facing the latter, the corners of her lips pulling downwards.

"No fighting!"

"But he's evil!" he accused blatantly. "You heard him!"

"I know that but right now I say NO to drugs — uh, I mean fighting. Everyone can go back to being enemies and what not after this sleepover ends."

"…Fine…" _At least Sasuke came here…it's a start to getting him to come back and stay permanently._

The blonde sullenly sauntered back over to his teammates. Sasuke lightly swatted him on his spiky blonde head for his impulsive attack, calling him a _dobe _like the old days to which the 'dobe' responded with a heated_ teme_ albeit, grinning happily at fond memories of when the were Team Seven. Ah…nostalgia…sweet, sweet, nostalgia…

"So…when are the other guests coming?" asked Shikamaru jadedly, tired of being kept in the dark.

"Heh…" Sachiko, theoretically the only one who knew, smiled mysteriously. "That's not on a need to know basis; just wait."

"Well they need to hurry up!" declared Ino loudly, flipping a white blonde lock out of her sky blue eye definitely. "I wanna get this party started!"

"Oh be quiet Ino-pig! They might have run into traffic or something!" hissed Sakura.

"Do you know who they are?" Lee asked curiously, looking at Keiko.

She sighed and dropped her head negatively, muttering, "No, nee-chan invited you all when I was taking a nap…"

"FOR BEING SO LATE THE WILL SUFFER MY WRATH!" broadcasted Zabuza at full volume, laughing maniacally.

Haku sighed, "There he goes again…acting all evil…"

"Well while we're all waiting, everyone should change out of their wet clothes and into their sleepwear for the night."

"Oh, Gaara!" Sachiko exclaimed, taking a gleefully glomp dive for him. "You're so smart; no wonder why they made you Kazekage at your age!"

The redhead blushed lightly at the fluffy contact. "Thanks…but it's really not that big of a deal…"

"Aww, my brother is embarrassed, how…weird," admitted Temari blankly. "Well at least he has people that care about him now."

"Do we care about him?"

Temari shushed Kankuro and whispered in a dark hiss, "Well I care about him, I don't know about you."

"I do care about him very much for your information," he retorted back in an aggravated whisper as well, "but he stole my last Twinkie before we left for here."

"Kankuro!"

"Ok, ok, I was joking, geez." _Someone can't take a joke._

"Ok boys, you're changing room will be Keiko's room—"

"What the hell Sachiko, you can't just rent out my room like—"

"—too little, too late; as I was saying and the girls will go and change in my room. Leave your bags and such in said room you reside in. Is everyone clear?"

The entire group consented (even a surly Keiko) and all headed upstairs to their respective room.

* * *

Sachiko, after putting on her night clothes which consisted of double X sized white t-shirt with pink embroidery and pink shorts, turned her consideration to the others as she tossed thick fiery locks over her shoulder, choosing to leave them loose now.

"Oohh~ I like your pajamas, Sakura and Ino," she commented brightly, gazing avidly at her fellow females.

Sakura was sprucely dressed in a white tank top and scarlet shorts that were made of a cloth material; scattered across the top were lurid pale pink cherry blossoms. Shoulder length bubblegum pink locks were simply left out as per usual, headband absent. Ino trendily sported a light blue spaghetti strap top with the phrase _"I'm cuter than your girlfriend" _on the upper chest portion and matching pants with her lengthy blonde hair is in its same ponytail.

"Really?" asked Sakura, sounding pleased by the complement. "I thought they would suit me because my namesake and such."

"You were dead on correct."

"Yeah, me and the girls all gathered after you called us and we went to the store real quick," said Ino conversationally, smoothing the wrinkles in her top down. "You know I _love_ shopping."

Sachiko nodded — everyone knew that fact. She turned her deep emerald eyes on the others, perusing their sleepwear attire as well.

Hinata was arrayed in a simple yet sophisticated long sleeved top of silk in a lovely lavender shade with dark purple calf cut cotton pants. Keiko, donned in green tank top with a big yellow star on the front with corresponding pants that had tiny stars on it, was presently sitting on the floor behind the Indian style sitting Hyūga princess, twisting the shy girl's indigo colored locks in elegant sort of plait.

Temari, dressed finely in a long black silk gown with mini silver fans on it, was meticulously combing her dirty blonde hair out and it seemed she was going to pull them into two lower hanging ponytails; her hair was actually a decent length brushed out, cutting off between her shoulder blades. And last, but definitely not least, TenTen was attired in a chicly gold-plated short sleeved top with pure white pants. Chocolate brown hair was pinned up in a single loose bun, a solitary lock dangling cutely across her forehead.

"We should totally have contest to see whose pajamas are the best!"

"Aneki, will you zip it," hissed Keiko warningly as she tied a pretty white ribbon at the end of Hinata's glossy French braid.

"What? I think it sounds—"

A piercing yell of fury emanated from the guy's changing room, otherwise known as Keiko's room, seeping into the thin walls of Sachiko's own space, interrupting said girl. The seven girls hastily exchanged wide eyed stares.

"_The hell was that?" _

* * *

Haha cliffy! That's all; for now! Thanks for reading and don't forget to drop me a review on your thoughts on this so far! :D

Asterisk elucidations

*Why does that remind me of another _you know who_ from Harry Potter? Lol.

**Note**: This chapter has been re-edited as of 5/28/10.


	3. Chapter 2

Thanks to the old reviewers for reviewing chapter 2 even though it was crappy before. And thanks to those new readers faved this story! Big thanks to those who reviewed last chapter recently! =) Hugs for you all! There will be some background info on the two OCs so you'll know there place as kunoichi of Konoha.

**READ THE FOLLOWING AGAIN! **

This is the **last time** I will state this in bold so everyone is explicitly warned**: ALL characters will be and can be **_**OOC**_**, **_**IC**_**, or even somewhat **_**IC,**_** and so on at anytime. For example Sakura and Ino will be somewhat fangirly (for now so don't worry Sakura and Ino fans). There will also be a few crack pairings (I'm not saying who) and OC pairing with the two OCs much later on. **

So if you don't like that, then I, again, **strongly, strongly** suggest you _don't_ read this. _It's a humor fic._ It's meant to make you laugh and smile. Or at least try in my case. So yeah, it'd be pointless to flame me (not that anyone has) or whatever cus I warned you. Unless you want to feel stupid. If so then by all means; knock yourself out. :D

**Disclaimer:** **Naruto** is not mine it belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. I think everyone knows that he wouldn't be writing on fanfic, in English no less, with his own certified characters.

* * *

_Recap:_ "What? I think it sounds—" A piercing yell of fury emanated from the guy's changing room, a.k.a. Keiko's room, seeping into the thin walls of Sachiko's own space, interrupting said girl. The seven girls hastily exchanged aghast, wide eyed stares.

"_The hell was that?" _

_**NOW THE STORY BEGANS!**_

**Chapter 2: **Random Hissy Fits

"Who the heck yelled?" muttered Keiko.

"It was SASUKE-KUN!" cried Sakura and Ino simultaneously with an abrupt sob. "I know that yell anywhere! Oh SASUKE-KUN!"

"Get a hold of yourselves!" snapped TenTen irritably.

"Yeah seriously," agreed Temari, folding her arms. _Freaken fan girls…_

Hinata said nothing her thoughts on one individual boy whom just happened to be a bright blonde. _I h-hope Naruto-kun is okay._

Sachiko turned to the group. "I'll go see what's up."

"Me too, nee-chan."

"Whatever, come on."

The sisters exited out the bedroom and walled down the small length of the hall way, stopping at a closed white door. Sachiko reached out and knocked once, but there was no answer, although a loud, angry clamor could be heard from within intermixed with heated words, along the lines of, "What the hell man?" and "Dude really, right now you decide to do that?".

Sachiko glanced quizzically at Keiko who shrugged and opened the door without any hesitation; she instantly regretted doing so when she glimpsed inside the room; all the guys are in their underwear, some in the process of either undressing or dressing themselves.

The entire male guests stopped what they're doing and turned vacant, unmitigated stares on the sisters at the door, except Sasuke who was glaring pointedly at Orochimaru.

"Uh…what are you two doing?" asked Naruto blankly.

Sachiko paused, before responding, "Well…we came up to see what _was up_…" _Yay I got a looky at hot guy's bodies!_

Keiko blushed big time and didn't respond as she was a little more than preoccupied with ogling all the toned chest of the men, in particular of her crush. _OMG, Lee has such a great body! (Insert nosebleed inside head)_

Jiraiya stared at the two sisters before it suddenly dawned on him, and he pointed accusingly, exclaiming, "AHA! Who's the _perverts_ now?"

"Hey! We only came to see what was wrong!" snapped Sachiko defensively with an unusual scowl.

"Well if you girls came to get a foretaste of us," began Zabuza slowly. "You can look at my smexy body!"

With that said, he began to show himself of. Sachiko almost gagged in dismay at the disconcerting sight. "Oh, gawd, not you, not that nightmare again, please stop!"

Unlike Sachiko however, Keiko watched with barely suppressed squeals of delight. _I think I'm gonna pass out…too much…hot…half-naked guys…_

"Zabuza stop it!"

"Why Haku?"

"Because Sachiko obviously doesn't like it." _Hell I don't its creepy_.

"Why wouldn't she; I'm hot!" he said plainly, still continuing.

"Oh," Sachiko groaned, "my eyes…someone gouge 'em now…"

Sighing, Haku withdrew a couple of zenbon and expertly chucked them at his master's neck; the Ex-Kiri Nin collapsed on the spot with a short yelp.

"Thank Kami-sama!" cheered Sachiko. "You rule Haku!" It wasn't that she didn't like Zabuza (quite the contrary), but whenever he did weird and random things, it sorta freaked her out. Like that time when randomly she snuck in with him to an adult dance club…let's just say stripper poles and him** do not** mix.

"…" Keiko sighed. _Nooouuuuu…I liked that! _

"Ok," began Sachiko calmly. "So what exactly is going down in here?"

Sasuke stepped forward and headed for up her. The elder Takashita paled, her eye twitching as she struggled with her deviant inner thoughts:

_Oh no, he's so close with no shirt on…must resist my inner fan girl*… _

_Inner fan girl: -drools- Glomp the Uchiha! _

_Never! Get back mofo! –kicks inner fan girl in the face- _

_Inner fan girl: Damnit, again I lost! I'll be back…_

"Sachiko?"

She snapped her head up at Sasuke's deep voice, wincing, "Um…yeah…?"

He frowned vaguely and deadpanned her. "You were mumbling something about _glomping_…"

"And then a really weird expression slid over your face…it was…ugh…" Kiba made an "ick" face, demonstrating her prior expression.

"Oh r-really? That was n-nothing!" she stammered in an unnaturally high voice, stuttering like a certain shy Hyūga, "S-so anyway what happened?"

"Orochimaru," The raven scowled darkly, "He tried to touch me while I was changing and then he tried to steal my body; again!"

He shot a death glare at the snake man, who whimpered and cowered behind Kabuto, who in turn pushed up his glasses and sighed.

"I told you he wouldn't like it Orochimaru-sama…"

"Bu-but…"

"_No one_ likes to be molested. Especially by _you_."

Sachiko rolled her emerald orbs plain exasperation. "O-K then. From now on, if and when ever Sasuke is taking off his clothes throughout this story, Gaara," She looked to him but double takes upon noticing he's shirtless. _Woah, jackpot!_

"Hello…earth to Sachiko!" said Kiba loudly. "You're not done with your explanation yet."

"Oh, umm…" She turned away from the red head with some difficultly. "I was say'n that Gaara is to use his sand to hold on to Orochimaru when Sasuke's going shirtless or whenever he gets that look in his eyes that scream: _I wanna get a piece of that tonight."_

"Isn't that pretty much all the time?" asked Jiraiya sardonically

"Nu-uh!" whined Orochimaru petulantly, poking his head from behind Kabuto. "It's not all the time!"

Everyone just gave him a withering, vacant stare. Orochimaru sniffled and retreated behind Kabuto again.

"Alright I will, Sachiko."

"Thanks so much Gaara!"

Shikamaru dolefully sighed, "Evil guys who want your body are such a pain…"

"You don't know the half of it…" mumbled Sasuke. _One day…I will end his life horrible just when he thinks he will succeed in getting my body…_

"Ok," Sachiko smiled happily now that everything seemed resolved and settled. "We'll leave you guys to changing."

She strode back and closed the door lightly. The pert red head glanced at her younger sister standing there with a blissful, but faraway expression. "So…so…many…hotties…" she murmured.

"Keiko, you okay?" Sachiko waved a flailing hand in her face. But no response. "Dang that never works." So she pimp-slapped her instead.

SMACK!

"Ow!" Keiko grabbed her flaming cheek, harshly brought back to reality. "What the hell you bitch, that hurts!"

"Well damn, Keiko did you have to call me that?"

"Yes; you slapped me!" She rubbed her stinging cheek gingerly. "What do you want?"

"I **wanted **to wake you up; you were in a daze."

Keiko paused before recalling what she had both saw and imagined and a torrent of scarlet spurted from her nose like a high pressure hose. Sachiko disgustingly groaned, right eye twitching as she pulled, out of nowhere again, a dainty, snow white handkerchief and handed it to her profusely bleeding sister.

"Imouto, you need to control and adjust yourself to that kind of thing."

"But…did you see all the smexy bodies?" she asked vivaciously whilst dabbing her nose.

"Yes I did, now shut up before I get a nosebleed."

"My bad…"

"Let's get going back already…"

"Wait," Keiko grabbed her sister's wrist, stopping her; Sachiko turned around, lifting a scarlet brow in inquiry. "I need to know what exactly you're planning with this."

An almost hesitant pause, "…What are you talking about, imouto? There is nothing being planned."

"Mm-hm," said Keiko dubiously. "Yes, because you just erratically invited these shinobi and kunoichi here for some fun every day, right?"

"That's right," she said stiffly, her cheerful face, falling slightly as she grew serious.

Keiko's eyes narrowed, glared at her sister. "Aneki…"

"Imouto, drop it," she said sternly, retracting her arm from Keiko's grip, "there is no ludicrous plan whatsoever. It's all in your mind. Those 'aliens' that supposedly 'kidnapped and poked ours brain' must have impaired your way of thinking."

The plum-haired girl gritted her teeth, but was silent, looking carefully away. She was now sure her aneki was indeed hiding something; Sachiko only got severe when she was…but she'd let it go…for now of course.

"Fine, c'mon, let's head back on over to the girl's — they're probably wondering what the hell went down right about now."

Sachiko's gravitas impression siphoned off her, cheery demeanor taking its place almost instantly.

"M'kay!"

The Takashita sisters journeyed back toward Sachiko's room. Keiko slipped her fingers around the gray handle of the door, twisting it prior to pushing it open, announcing, "We're back and — YAGH!" Immediately, she was tackled by a blur of blonde and pink.

"What happened, Keiko?"

"Is Sasuke-kun okay?"

Sachiko nodded, smiling at their ardent queries. "Yeah it was just a mishap for Orochimaru."

"Oh goody! Sasuke-kun's okay!" cheered Ino in relief.

"If you're all happy and dandy," began Keiko calmly. "Would you both mind getting your sharp knees outta my stomach?"

Sakura looked awkwardly apologetic at her fan girl moment. "Sorry about that." Both medical users helped a groaning Keiko to her feet.

"Yeah, I was just happy that Sasuke-kun was okay," agreed Ino sheepishly.

"Whatever…" _What's so great about Sasuke? Lee's much better…_

"I'm done getting dressed so I'll be downstairs making myself busy with setting up all the refreshments," said Sachiko.

"Cool, I hope you got more cookies for my brother."

"Of course, Temari. I always have extra in stock when I know he's coming over."

* * *

The entire sleepover guests (minus Keiko who was doing Kami-sama knows what) came down about five or so minutes later, quickly crowded into the nice sized den area in their night time garments. Most of the male guest of the sleepover wore pretty much black or blue shorts or whatever would match them, like Naruto has orange ones for example, with a white top, be it a tank top, short, or long sleeves. All, except one wore individualistic sleepwear and it wasn't Naruto for once.

"Who likes my pjs?" asked Kakashi casually as he pointed to his nightwear which was a light green top covered with ninja hounds with matching pants.

"I do!" said Kiba automatically. "Dogs rule!"

"Figures dog boy would lik'em," muttered Naruto.

"I heard that you baka!"

"Well it's true!"

Afore anything could start further, Sachiko came out the kitchen, holding a way oversized platter full motley snacks and goodies. Gaara's light blue eyes lit up, "Yeah, more cookies!" She smiled cheerfully at him as she placed the abundant food on a large table positioned in the center of the outsized den. It was immediately swarmed by the eager, hungry occupants.

"Oh, you got Oreos!" squealed Orochimaru. "My faves!" He easily dumped a whole package down his freakishly expandable throat.

"Eww…" muttered Naruto. _Goddamn that always freaks me out! Though it's kinda cool…Imagine how much ramen I could eat in one single bite! _The blonde hero fantasized languorously over the concept with a sparkly sheen clouding his sky blue depths.

"Naruto, don't go off to La, La Land on me," quipped Sakura, sharply snapping her fingers in his dazed face.

"Ramen-chan…" he sighed absentmindedly. He didn't awaken from his stupor till an annoyed clout to the head jerked him back to reality.

"Oh…you even got chocolate cake," said Shikamaru sedately, jaded expression perking up in the barest minimum.

"I knew that make ya happy," grinned Sachiko. "It's Temari-chan's recipe~!"

"Takashita!" hissed the fan wielder frigidly, shooting her an intense glare; no one, least of all, the cloud watcher was supposed to know about her cooking hobby she partook secretly.

Sachiko merely stuck her tongue out playfully, "Would've come out sooner or later."

The probable laziest Konoha shinobi took a slice on a small plastic plate and, fork in hand, took piece into his mouth, chewing slowly, attentively. "…Well, it's…really good Temari…I'm surprised."

She blinked twice, looking and feeling a little shocked yet pleased, "…Thanks, I guess…wait is that an insult?"

"No…a disguised one…" He narrowly avoided an angry fist thrown at his face. "Geez, can't you take a joke?"

"Didn't we learn that last chapter?" mumbled Kankuro to himself.

Keiko finally came downstairs and joined the oversized group, "Has the other guest arrived yet?"

"Nope," said Kankuro, delightfully munching into a bright yellow gold Twinkie. _Hehehehe…your cakey, creamy filled goodness is mine this time! Take that Gaara!_

"What is taking them so long; I want to play games now!"

"Lee, don't be impatient!" snapped TenTen, annoyed by his overly impatient nature.

Keiko growled deep in her throat_. 'Don't tell my-soon-to-be-boyfriend what to do' _She opened her mouth to yell at the weapons user.

"Imouto," whispered Sachiko warningly, "don't you even dare."

"But—!"

"NO!"

"Fine!"

Keiko muttered vehemently under her breath; something about beating the crap out of her tomorrow, though she knew she didn't have the guts to actually carry out the violent threat because she and TenTen were friends first and foremost, girlfriends or boyfriends. Not Hana to Yuri.

On top off that, the weapon's mistress was one hell of a fighter and weaponry was not the middle Takashita's forte — meaning she'd probably get her ass handed to her though she was sincerely strong in her own right as a sixteen year old kunoichi incorporated in the ANBU for her stealth and tracking skills. Her strong suit was not Taijutsu, but rather efficient tactics for invasion and medical ninjutsu much like Sakura and Ino.

Her aneki, on the other hand, was well rehearsed in Ninjutsu and Taijutsu, which was why she held a higher position in ANBU over her when sent on missions, much to her jealous chagrin. ANBU in their position do mainly wayward assassination assignments in small groups of four to six, so Keiko's job along with any others of her type would determine a method to infiltrate; Sachiko and those of her caliber, provided commotion by rousing an uproar amongst their client's guards whilst one of them slipped into the strong hold or whatever area with the help of the infiltration cadre to fulfill the deed.

Aside from that, Sachiko of course has flaws like any other human: a handicap weakness to Genjutsu, her cheerful optimism of _'nothing bad is gonna happen, I'll be fine'_ attitude, and her unusually passionate **hatred **of felonious shinobi (which inexplicably vanished about a month ago to Keiko's further suspicion) initiating her to lose her head (that's putting it mildly) in the heat of battle.

These faults in turn triggered an unbroken pattern of how Sachiko (the head of their ANBU squadron of five) and Keiko's missions centered on hunting and eradicating wayward shinobi whom deserted insert village to end much like this:

Sachiko bites off more than she can chew, Keiko has to somehow convince her injured, obstinate sister to give guns and run while she and the others with them hold off the Nuke-nin assailant(s) so she can heal her serious wounds to preserve her life at least, go back to Konoha afterwards (mission may or may not be complete; in severe cases it is always the latter), and later landing the elder hooked up in the hospital, hemorrhaging like an endless waterfall…

Anyhow…

Temari crossed her arms suddenly, bearing a light frown as she voiced, "Like Sakura said last time, they could have run into some kinda traffic, plus the weather is crappy."

"You mean crap-tasticular!" said Sachiko brightly, causing people to wonder if she was just odd or mentally disturbed…

"It was their _destiny_ to be late," said Neji, predictably predicting as if he still believed in that BS.

"Will you shut up with the destiny crap already!" spat Keiko crossly.

Naruto nodded. "Seriously."

"But this time it is!"

"Yeah right." _He so annoying with the destiny this destiny that, blah, blah, no one cares!_

An argument duo to boredom with waiting erupted between the two and went on for a span of ten minutes, the guest listening quietly at the two going back and forth until it reached that retarded point of absolute ridiculousness. You know…when it gets down to just plain shouting without any actual relation or meaning to the initial row.

"KEIKO SHUT UP!"

"NO MAKE ME!"

"How bout I do?" Sachiko bashed the stubborn shinobi and kunoichi in the back of their inflated craniums with a balled up both fist simultaneously.

"Ow!" yelped the arguing pair in unison.

"Finally!" cried Haku, who had been sick of quarreling himself. He had been contemplating knocking them both out with a well-placed senbon, but Sachiko had graciously acted out his thoughts before him.

"Yeah, some peace and quiet at last!"

The ice user frowned. "Zabuza-sama? When did you get up?"

"The minute the food was brought out."

Haku rolled his pretty liquid brown eyes, grousing, "I bet you did…"

"What, they got _Doritos _— I love those chips!" He grabbed up the entire bowl full of them, holding them to himself, snapping, "And they are **Na**-**cho** cheese!"

"Cheesiest line ever," muttered Kakashi dully, leafing through his novel, "no pun intended."

Moving on once more…Keiko glared at her sister, spitting out, "You didn't have to hit us!"

"Yeah, I agree," said Neji, scowling.

"So they agree on something," remarked Jiraiya dryly. Hasn't he been quite the snarky commenter lately?

"Well I did, you both want another?" declared Sachiko, an ominous, near demonic aura surrounding her.

Neji blinked and sweat dropped at the precarious atmosphere emanating from the supposedly jovial Takashita. "Uh, no thanks…" _I knew she was a demon underneath that blissful happiness._

"Sachiko," A second near evil, despairing atmosphere sprang from the younger as well.

"What you gonna do, _Sekikan**_?"

Keiko's aura automatically receded upon hearing that. "Okay, I wasn't gunna do nuthin."

"Double negatives!" said Naruto excitedly. "Yaye, double negatives!"

"I love being the leader," said Sachiko with a triumphant smirk, "and Naruto — what the hell? It's just double negatives…"

"But they rock my socks, dattebayo!"

"Hn…" Keiko folded her arms sulkily. _Why couldn't I be the__Buntaichō***__ of our ANBU troop…why the hell make a jolly ditz like her in charge?_

"What time is it?" inquired Kakashi arbitrarily.

Sachiko checked her wrist watch with an innocuous grin, proclaiming, "Exactly seven twenty nine."

Kabuto blinked, pushing his black, rounded glasses that had been sluggishly sliding down his nose up.

"Did you tell them a specific time?"

"Well, I told them to come before seven thirty—" For the fourth (and hopefully last time for tonight) the strident doorbell reverberated. "Oh, that must be them!"

Everyone, not including Sachiko and a few obvious others, vaulted to the floor, one single thought in mind:

_Why the hell would they come exactly __**one minute **__**before**__ seven thirty?_

* * *

So there's some background on the OCs for you…and some insight that Sachiko may have a secret plan in store…which she most certainly does. Oh and I'm sure you all know **who's** at the door now — let the drama began!

Hoped everyone enjoyed this chapter! As always, thanks for reading and please review. ;). I feel like I'm doing much better on these re-written chapters and I sincerely hope everyone (whose read it before) else consents with me at least if only somewhat. Next chapter will be up in a tomorrow or the day after.

**Note:** This chapter has been re-edited as of 6/2/10.

Asterisk elucidations

*I don't care what nobody says, I'm positive everyone has one!

**Sekikan: seated officers. I know ANBU don't actually have seated officers but in this they shall — hope it's not a big deal; it ranges from 2nd to 10th seat. I derived the term and idea from Bleach by Tite Kubo which I also don't own for the record.

***Buntaichō: ANBU squad leaders, a position held in high regards


End file.
